Tuesday, January 27, 2004
let me elaborate: i had an awesome time at winter formal.
i'm sure you heard of the chronological "what happened next?" stories already, so you can check those out from all the others who were there with me. so maybe, i'll talk more about what people couldn't really see. not that you're allowed to pry and rummage all the contents of my mind, but i'm definitely here to give you some insight.
let me explain how tired i was. the thursday before the dance (saturday, january 24th, 2004), i slept a total of three hours. then, the friday after that, i slept two hours. then came saturday morning. i slept a bit on the plane, but an hour on the plane is nothing (try going to japan or austrlia or something like that; an hour is a blink). so that would explain my behavior, for those of you who saw me... i was a bit out of it. but my attention and sense of direction were fantastic (i didn't get lost!! lol...). i wonder if that has anything to do with not having the ppropriate number of hours to sleep... as i ponder, i realize it's already past 2am.
my mind was going all over the place during the dance. it was focused most of the time, but give it a time of silence and there it goes, roaming. a lot of analyzing went on in there. periodically, i'd throw it a fast ball and start talking to my friends and laughing and things like that. but then it throws me a curve ball in return and i'm not even ready with a bat. i saw from different angles, i could see things people were trying to hide, and i wish they hadn't. and sometimes, those serious moments in my head surfaced as an emotion on my face... or maybe the lack thereof. but i'd throw myself back into the music and everything disappeared. my mind was dribbled like a forceful pendulum between reality and "why". fortunate for me, i found answers to almost all of my questions.
i'm glad i didn't do the things i thought about doing, i'm glad i did do the things i thought about not doing, i'm glad i was enlightened, yet again, by sweet, sweet reality. and there is no ounce of sarcasm in that. i'm loving the life as i have it right now. certain people definitely play a role in this. certin things hold significance, too. i'm just, quite content.
there was a moment that night, when he found his love, hidden under a carpet of selfishness and ignorance. he called her but she pretended not to hear. and ignorance embraced her cold little back, like a jacket, and sneered. but he called her again, called her once more, and slowed this kidnapping. he tore off ignornance's jacket, and told her things she didn't know, and it made her nervous and her soul poured out in shapes of tears as he caught each of them. he turned into a magnificent flower as he was watered by her tears. and there was a moment that night, when she found it in herself to love him again. and she smiled and he blossomed to embrace her.
it's interesting the way things turn out. so thanks. you really do save me from my self-created viruses.
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